2 More Sleeps

This morning I woke up in disbelief (there's actually been a lot of that) that in just under two days we will be on a plane to China. It is hard to describe how I am feeling at this moment. There are so many different emotions swirling. Is it possible to be excited, scared, happy, sad, thrilled, worried, blissful, overwhelmed and panicked all at the same time? I am of course super excited and thrilled to finally bring Avery home. I am so ready for this part of the journey to be over and moving on to just life has a family of four whatever that looks like. But part of me is full of anxiety with all the unknowns. How will Avery react to her world being turned upside down? Will she reject me or Doug? How quickly will she begin to trust and bond to us and will it become a strong, healthy attachment??? So many questions. And I am also feeling sad that after all these years I don't have everything in order the way I would like. I am such a planner and am truly at my happiest when all my ducks are in a row. But organization and "stuff" is not more important than people and relationships. Just another lesson that I think God is continually trying to teach me. I have so much to learn! I just need to let all that stuff go and focus on what's really important...it's okay that the curtains will not be up in the nursery and pictures will not be on the wall. Why was the picture perfect moment of bringing Avery into a perfectly decorated nursery so important? She won't care and in fact it might overwhelm her. She most likely won't even sleep in there initially as she is probably used to sleeping with 50 other babies. It's okay that I haven't finished (or barely started) thank you notes or that I haven't blogged about the wonderful showers and happenings that we have been blessed and overwhelmed with in these last few weeks.

I recently picked up a wonderful little devotional book that a friend recommended called "Jesus Calling". It had a good reminder for me today it said...The greatest blessing is nearness to Me - abundant joy and peace in My presence.

God also brought Matt 6:25-34 to my mind today...

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Thank you God for these reminders!